Archive | May 2016

Blessed with Anger

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Time and time again I have talked about the “Why Power” that drives us to our goals; that thing that sits in us and fuels our commitment when willpower is a distant memory and the pain and hardships we face feel overwhelming. I talk about this idea and it is always a good thing, something that we need to have and understand in order to fully use. Commonly we only think of Why Power in terms of creating something good or other positive ideals. We don’t think about how a negative Why can be just as powerful, can be just as dominating in our ability to drive past our limitations and through the pain and hardship. The thing to remember is that good or bad, Whys have the same power to transform our lives; they do not define the person we want to be.

Humans are competitive by natures, has to do with that whole survival of the fittest that Darwin spoke about. There are very few motivators in our life that have the power to drive us beyond our limitation  as much as competition does. This is something to keep in mind when you are looking for your Why Power. As long as the Why rings true for you, that is the key that matter. Even if the Why is seen as a negative one like Keeping Up With The Jones or having more money than your siblings. These are not socially accepted reasons for doing things, but if they are true to your Why, you can still use them to drive yourself through the rough patches on your journey.

Every now and then when live is getting really rough for her, I will hear xiaoyi say “I am NOT going to let THEM WIN!”  She mutters it as a curse and pushed through to get things done and keep going when she is struggling.  Finally, I asked her who “they” were.  It turns out that like most of us, xiaoyi has been told by many people in her life that she can’t or won’t be able to make it.  Even some doctors have told her she would not be able to do things because of her fibro.  She uses these messages to get pissed when she needs to push through and still do things, make that last call, get one more thing done or even just to post one more writing.  Her Why Power is based out of anger to be more than those people have told her she can be and it works.  

anger and the urge to fight can also be great sources of Why Power. These can become powerful motivators and drive us past our normal limitations to a new height we didn’t know that we could reach. Our Why Power is a tool for us, a powerbase to work from to achieve our goals. Think of it as a nuclear power plant. The benefits of having one are massive and we see that a beneficial, but they can also be destructive and we see that as bad. The reality of it is that it is a tool that we can use and control to drive our change.

While we explore the “darker” side of our Why Power, there is something to keep in mind. The motivation behind our actions does not need to dictate those actions. We can maintain our values while having a Why that is seen as negative. Take me for example, my Why is rather simple and straightforward, and it could also be considered petty or negative. My why is my desire to not “work”, to live a life where I can wake up when I want to and spend the day doing what I want without living off of others or compromising the lifestyle I want. This can easily be seen as a lazy and negative Why, but I have been able to use it to drive myself into a situation where I am constantly writing (something I love), I am constantly learning and sharing that knowledge with other. I am walking a path that brings me closer to my wife and is more authentic than I have lived before. These are all positive outcomes even though the Why is seen as negative. Remember that as you embrace a seemingly negative Why Power and realize that the Why Power is the tool, it is your actions on achieving your goal that can create a negative or positive outcome in your life. Use your tools and make them work for you.  


Life’s too short to have bad days.  What are you doing to make today FANTASTIC?

Walking the Talk

Authentic Living:

For much of the time that I have been walking this path, I have been training on taking an active role in my own life. I have been focused on internal, soul searching work, to really understand where I am and why, as well as where I want to be and how to achieve that. I have delved into the actions and inactions that define my life and the ripples that doing these things does to my life. Through all of this growth, I have looked at the far future to see my dreams realized. Today I will let you in on a little secret.

With all this focus on myself and acting in ways that will get me to my goals, I have made a change in my life that I will find outstrips all the other accomplishments that will comes as I live this new life. You can do this too!    I have taken the initial effort to live authentically.  That’s the big secret!

This might sound simple in and of itself, but the repercussions are astounding. Once we have made the change in our lives, to no longer be passive observers, to let our ingrained habits and instinct lead us down whatever path they have decided to take, we change. Now, we have made a paradigm shift in our thinking and are taking control of the ride, we have moved into the driver’s seat on this journey and decided to guide our own lives, our own futures.

This is authentic living.

Here are a few key steps in making this shift. First, make the decision to change the future and  to search  your soul and make changes.  Decided that living paycheck to paycheck and not realizing  dreams of traveling was simply unacceptable and decided to change. THis was one of the big things for xiaoyi and I.  We love traveling.   Second, find your “Why power”.  Find the reason or reasons that will motivate you to continue this change even in hard times, even when the path becomes arduous. Finally, Make plans and take the actions to stay on this new on the path. We have not only taken control of our lives; we are walking our desired and authentic path, but we have also relegated the instincts and habits that had been driving us to the back seat, or tossed them out of the vehicle completely.  We have created check ins so that we can make sure we are staying on course.

This one change is a catalyst in our lives. It changes everything, everyday. We have woken up from the sleepwalking type existence that we had been living in and taken a hand in our own lives, our own existence. This will necessitate change in how we interact with the world and with others in that world. This change probably went unnoticed as we started this path.  Now thoug, our freidns nad family have told us they have noticed the change and noticed that we seem to be much happier with our lives now.  You can do this as well, live your life authentically and  bring it to the fore of your mind for a little bit. Continue to allow it to help drive you towards your chosen future.  You will find that this authentic living will keep you on your path and make is easier to kick the old autopilot to the curb and your life with be immeasurably better for it. Ours certainly is.


Life’s too short to have bad days!  What are you doing to make today fantaastic?

need or product

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The Need or the Product?

The end goal of a sales position is to get people to buy the product that we are selling. The training and methods that we develop are based around that end, but many times that training actually gets in the way of achieving that end. In many cases, the salesperson is trained in how to sell the product that they have. In our culture today, we have been taught that salespeople are not be trusted, that they are snake oil salesman or used car dealers and are only there until the money transfers hands and then the sales person disappear into the void. The unfortunate truth is that in a lot of situations that is exactly what will happen and the customer has every right to fear that outcome. There is a way to surmount this problem for your clients and it revolves around the actual selling process.

Instead of focusing our product when we are at a sales meeting, the real trick to getting around cultural bias is to listen. We need to sit down and develop our sales system so that it focuses on listening to the customer and learning about them. This is in an effort to really learn and understand the needs and wants that they have that they are looking to have solved. We need to be engaged in the conversation so that we can uncover the actual conditions that need to be met for someone to purchase our product instead of the smoke screens that are going to be tossed up. Once we have uncovers those conditions and really understood them, at that point we can demonstrate our product to the customer in a way that actually solves their problem, meets their conditions. If our product can do that, the customer will feel confident in purchasing the product.

The demonstration is not the only bonus we get out of this need-based selling method. When we really listen to someone, it creates a bond between the two people and that bond breeds trust. We can’t sell anything to somebody who doesn’t trust us, so finding ways to build that trust is vital to the end result. Additionally, this sort of selling method helps us in an emotional capacity. When all is said and done and the customer walks away after purchasing, this needs based selling has made it so that we can honestly look at the situation and be proud of ourselves that we helped someone out with their problems. We don’t have to wonder if we omitted information that would have ruined the sale or somehow tricked the customer into purchasing because we took the effort to understand and address the reasons that they were looking for a product in the first place. These are wonderful benefits to a system that is already more effective at achieving the end goal of making a sale.

So how can you modify your product based sales to be a more need-based sales method?


Life’s too Short to have Bad Days!  What are YOU doing to make today FANTASTIC?

Grimm the Final chapter of this Story.

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Finally, the creature came to a standstill facing Grimm. With a grin, Grimm began to move towards it, his hand slipping to his back beneath his coat. As Grimm came close, the Aberrent hunched itself up and with a howl of pure hatred flexed all its muscles. The sound of snapping metal sent chills down Grimm’s spine as the sword shattered and the monstrosity launched itself at him with all its fury. The wickedly sharp blades of the creature’s hand tore through the stylish red shirt that Grimm wore and cut across his stomach as he tried to turn out of the way of the attack.

Miss Wessex gasped as she saw the blow take Grimm in the stomach, but what she saw next shocked her even more. As the blades tore across Grimm’s flesh, sparks flew from the impact and the blades failed to open gashes in him. A dull metallic sheen glinted from the very flesh of Grimm’s torso as if his skin itself was imbued with an alloy. The blades had torn away his shirt leaving him panting in the snow, his jacket still draped around him and steam rising from his body in the chill. With a feral grin that exposed his canines, his respirator dangling from the newly broken strap that should have held it in place, Grimm launched himself at the charging Aberrent. As the thing swung, Grimm took the full blunt of the blow and wrapped his arms and legs around the things arm. The monster began to flail in an attempt to fling the clinging man off. With determination, Grim held on and managed to free a hand to pull an ugly looking gun from his back, beneath his jacket. The weapon looked like a high-powered shotgun akin to the augmented derringers that Lady Wessex used, but there were three curved blades protruding from the barrel that were attached to pistons.

The reason for the blades became known as Grimm hopped off the creature’s arm, timing it so that he landed directly in front of the brute with a moment to spare to make his attack. He shoved the barrel of the gun into the monster’s chest and hit a button on the back of the stock. The pistons drove the blades deep into the Aberrent’s torso, locking the gun against its body. With a malicious howl that reminded the Lady of the Aberrent’s own screams, Grimm pulled the trigger. A blast like the epicenter of a lightning strike tore through the streets as the gun went off. The power augmentation used on Grimm’s gun must have been much stronger than the ones on Lady Wessex’s pistols. The force of the blast tore a hole completely through the monster, spewing blood, sinew and mechanical parts all over the street. The blades that had locked into the monster tore great a chunk of flesh out as the blast hurled Grimm and the gun, like a rag doll, a hundred meters down the street away from the creature to tumble and skid in the dirty snow. The Aberrent staggered a few steps as oil and gore poured out of it before it finally collapsed, an expression of peace and well-being replacing the pained madness on its face, its eyes fading from a tinted red to their normal brown in death.

Shaking heavily from the shock and sweet adrenalin of the fight, Miss Wessex moved towards the still form of Grimm, her eyes glancing over her shoulder to the dead monster every few steps. Pity surged in her as she took in the pathetic, twisted form of the Aberrent. As she got a closer look the metallic sheen to Grimm’s skin was very pronounced with it being slicked by the wetness he had tumbled in. With fear beating in her heart she leaned over the still form before her. She couldn’t tell if she was more afraid that he was dead or that he wasn’t.

A grunt and a deep inhalation from Grimm sent her scuttling back away from him guns half rising. With a moan, he began to push himself to his feet, a quiet, somewhat maniacal chuckling escaping his lips. As he rose he replaced the gore coated gun back in its harness and pulled a wickedly curved dagger from a sheath at his hip. He eyes blazed with an intensity that terrified Miss Wessex as he locked gazes with her, the wetness plastering his curly black hair to his forehead.  

“I do so hope you enjoy this work Lady Wessex. Now that you know my little secret, I am giving you only one choice. I think you can guess what it is.” he whispered, his voice carrying with uncanny force through the silence of the snowfall.

“I suppose I do, death or compliance. In that case, where do we find our next job?” She asked, settling her derringers into the holsters at her shapely hips and trying to appear calm in the face of his metallic sheen.

With a cackling laugh, Grimm stooped and picked up his hat which had fallen off in his tumble and moved past the lady and down the street. With a sigh of resignation and a shiver of growing excitement, she turned and followed the Aberrent hunter.



Are you talking to the right audience?

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Interview to Sell:

Many people walk into a sales situation expecting to try and sell their product to the other person. They are ready with answers on the perks of their product and how that product will help the person that they are trying to sell to. The problem with this is that it is completely focused on the product and ignores the actual person interested in buying. This is a recipe for a lot of rejection as the person being sold the product never has their actual needs or wants should be taken into account during the process. However, if you add one small step to your selling process,  the interview step, this problem goes away.  It turns the focus from “what” you are offering to “who” you are offering it to.   The interview is the key to making a sale rather than just wasting time making a sales pitch.

Have you ever felt this?  I had someone come over and demoed a vacuum at my house once.  I was impressed with the amount of dust etc that the vacuum picked up but i decided not to buy it simply because the salesman would not shut up long enough for me to ask the questions I had about it. I didn’t really care about the tons of data he gave me about the vacuum. I am not a brand girl when it comes to such things.  I wanted to know how heavy it was so that I could see if I could carry it up and down the three flights of stairs my home had.  After 30 minutes of trying to ask my question and being cut off and drowned in information I didn’t care about, I knew this guy was not going to get my money.  He certainly knew his product and it’s features but because he didn’t take time to listen to me, he lost the sale.  

The “interview” is a series of questions that we need to ask the person we are seeking to sell to, in order to learn and understand their wants and needs first before we try to sell them something.  This lets us know the reasons that they might want the product or the problems that they are facing and looking for a solution to. This process allows us to tailor the image of our product to address their wants and needs. Instead of taking time to tell the buyer all the features of the product that they don’t actually care about, we can spend more time on those features of the product that actually address what the buyer’s needs. This is critical in making that sale, in showing the buyer that the product is exactly what they are looking for. Doing this interview in a method that gives us real information and doesn’t feel fake or like an interrogation can be the hard part though.

First, remember is to always ask open-ended questions instead of close-ended ones. Close-ended questions are those that can be answered with a yes or no answer. Open-ended questions are those that require the person to put together a thought and convey that thought.  These questions engage the person in a dialogue with us rather than us just talking at them. When you get them into a dialogue like this, you remove them from the position of a passive buyer and into a participate in the process and that gets them invested in it as well. These are the questions that really open up what the person is looking for if we create the questions properly.  “What brings you in here today?” “How do you plan to use our vacuum?”

The key to creating useful open-ended questions is to think about it beforehand. You need to take a good look at your product and then follow these three steps:

Step #1: Identify – specific types of information that will help you identify the buyers wants and needs. This is a tough step and involves not only getting into the mindset of the buyer to try and perceive what problems they may face, but then to think about ways to ask your questions to uncover those problems. Instead of asking “Is the interface to your current operating program difficult to use?” it would be better to ask “What aspects of your current operating program are you least favorite?” This change in how you phrase the question gets them to think about specifics that they want improvement on, and you get to tailor your discussion of your product to those specifics.

Step #2:  List – List out the features of your product that you believe can fill a want, need or problem of your customers. This will help you once you have gone through the interview to display the benefits of your product to your buyer while addressing the needs that you have uncovered

Step #3: Write – Actually sit down and write out questions that you want to ask. Not only the concepts that you want to address, but the actual wording and timing of the question. The key to wisdom is in asking the right questions at the right time.  This way, when you are in the interview process you will have an arsenal of open-ended questions at your fingertips that will allow you to uncover the needs that your buyer is looking to your products to fill.

Once you have uncovered the problems, wants, and needs of your buyer, the rest of the process is simple. It becomes a matter of addressing how your product will fulfill those wants and needs for the customer. If you can uncover the real reasons that they are looking for the product in the first place and you can fulfill those reasons with your product, then the sale is in the bag.

What sort of questions are you going to craft to get to the real core of what your prospects are looking for?


Life’s Too Short to Have Bad Days!  What are YOU doing to make today FANTASTIC?

You mean it really works?

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My wife and I have been on this journey for a few months now and have been excited and enthusiastic about it. It has been a very interesting ride in and of itself and I have found a fulfillment in it, building a life that I want to live. Yet it wasn’t until today, that I really understood how much  of a difference the training we have been getting through My Leads System Pro has done for us. We have been posting for less than 6 months at this point and have seen the beginnings of the success that we are striving for, but it has felt slow and laborious so far, like what we are doing isn’t actually being effective. That changed for me today.

A good friend of my went online and tracked down an old friend of ours from when we were growing up and taking  our first steps as adults. As it turns out, this old friend has his own business and has a presence on Facebook with a blog attached to their business as well. I was  exploring his on-line stuff and learning what he has been up to when I noticed something on his Facebook page for his business. The page was founded in 2008 and has only 1/3 of the Likes that xiaoyi and my Facebook page has in the 6 months since we founded ours.

It came as a bit of shock to me that my page has reached 3 times the number of people as this old friend’s page: a page that has been up for 8 years! I got to thinking why this might be? It could be that my wife and I are more social or that we post more and of better quality, but that is all training that the two of us have received thanks to MLSP. So for me, it comes down to the difference being our investment in learning and applying that learning to the catalyst that drives the change in our lives.

So I ask you out there, is the training worth it? Do you want to be sitting here 8 years from now and realize only a meager trickle of leads and production from your social media presence, or would you rather jump start your dreams with a small investment to learn? I’ll take the small investment every time.


Life’s Too Short to Have Bad Days!  What are you doing to makes today Fantastic?

A Change in Values

Several times we have looked at values and how they can affect our lives and how we interact with the world and the challenges that we face in this life. We have come to the determination that living aligned with our values is the greatest source of happiness and contentment and have taken the time to understand how we can behave in accordance with our values. We have even developed ways to find and understand our values through introspection and self-analysis. I recently went on a road trip that showed me that the process of finding and understanding our values is never truly done, it is something that we need to do time and time again as we grow, learn and live.

I have lived my entire life within 20 minutes of a major city. I have grown up in that city and worked in that city and since it wasn’t one of the massive ones we hear about all the time, I assumed it was a good slice of normal life around our country. As such I have been accepting as the price of living has increased dramatically over the past few years, assuming it was a common trend. So now, making more than I ever have in my life, I am at a point where my quality of living is less than it was 10 years ago because of where I am living. This road trip showed me something very different and got me thinking about what I really want or need to live a happy life.

I visited a friend halfway across the country and we got to talking about the house they lived in and the costs of living in that area of the world. It was a nice, quiet community with a lot of green and growing things and far too much water in the air for this Colorado native, but it was peaceful and pleasant. Then I found out that the cost of the home was half of what a similar home would cost in my neck of the woods and that the cost of living in the other aspects of life were similarly reduced. I found out that a home actually in the nearby city, a city that was once thriving and is now working to rebound back to being thriving, is literally 10 times less expensive than the same home in Denver where I live. That was a real shock to my outlook on life and got me thinking about what I really need to call somewhere home.

The drive back gave me plenty of time to watch out the window at the passing towns and examine what a life in those areas would mean to me and the results astounded me. To have a home and the quality of life I wanted, I would be willing to sacrifice quite a lot. First off, I would be willing to increase my commute each day as I still have one. This is something that I thought I had reached a maximum on as I spend an hour in traffic both ways currently. Yet for the right home and the right quality of living, I would happily increase that cost. Additionally, I would be willing to take a pay cut and work a less desirable job to have a home that made me happy as long as the quality of living didn’t decrease. This was a real shock to me as I equate the amount of money I earn with the quality of life I lead. Yet the trip showed me that I can earn less and still increase the quality of my living.

The trip made me take a close look at my values and what I wanted and needed from life and the results were not what I had expected or even had considered previously. I am now looking towards my future with a different heart and different hopes. I encourage you all to take a trip, be it physical or mental and really explore those areas of life that have not been available to you before and see if there are any deeply held values there that might change as your views of the world around you change. It can be a shocking and uplifting feeling.


Life’s too short to have bad days! What are YOU doing to make today fantastic?

The Smallest Difference and Big Change

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Imae courtesy of:

The key to being successful in our endeavors is commonly simply changing our habits. As humans, we develop habits so that we can survive life. Having to go through the cognitive struggle of doing something the first time, every time we tried to do something would make our lives  a constant struggle that getting us nowhere. How the human mind has adapted to this is by creating of mental subroutines(habits) that continually operate to move common actions away from the forebrain and into rote activity. These  habits, by necessity, are not an active part of our thought processes. Unfortunately, that means that they are generally in the driver’s seat of our lives and are what is actually running our lives, and for the vast majority of us, we didn’t think about them even when they first were created.  That means that we have NEVER looked at where these things are taking us and the life that they are creating for us.

We need to change that fact in our lives if we want to move towards a goal of our choosing. The big habits are easy to spot, but they are not always the ones that will define our lives. With the big ones, they are easy to see and we can rationalize what the consequences are if we keep following them. Those are the ones that will be the first on our list to tackle and retrain, but the little ones are just as important to look at. Think of it this way, your goal is point you want to reach on the other side of the planet. You line yourself up on it and start off, but by the time you get halfway around the world, you are thousands of miles north or south of your desired point. This is because, at the start when you lines up, you had a 1% deviation off your ideal line. That 1% is a little habit that is going to drive you miles and miles off the course you want to live.

So the key here is to take time over the next portion of your life and be cognitive of your habits, the good ones and the bad ones. Take the time to map out what that long term effects of those habits are and if those long term effects really are what you want to have in your life. If they are, keep the habit. If they are not, then it is time to change. Habits are ingrained in our brains through repetition, and the only way to change them is through repetition. This means that we need to wake up and become aware of ourselves and what we are doing. Once we see that, we can stop ourselves as we get into the subroutine of a habit and change what we are doing. If we stick to this, making a better decision each time a negative habit shows up, we will re-train our habits into the ones we want. Soon we will find that we don’t even think of that donut as a breakfast item and instead reach for the fruit as a habit. These are little change that will result in massive effect down the road.

All it takes is a 1% shift in course to send us wildly off our goals, but that means that it only takes a 1% course correction to put us on our line to the future we want. What is the 1% shift that you are going to make to life the life of your dreams?


Sealing the Deal


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For most of us, we understand that the end of a sales conversation comes down to the closing. This is one of the major points of the conversation for both parties. Without a closing, the work and effort that we have put in and the time that our customer has put in has just been a conversation. Without a closing, we are not solving any problems for our customer; we are not satisfying any of their needs. We have built trust and companionship, but have not achieved our goal to improve both parties’ lives. Yet, even knowing this, most salespeople don’t ask for a closing commitment. That needs to stop for us. We need to be there to ask for that closing. What we are doing now is running most of a marathon and then walking away without crossing the finish line even though it is in sight. We may not win, but we should at least cross that line.

There are two broad ways to ask for that closing commitment and they each work for different types of people. For those people that take a time to come to a decision about something, an incremental close is usually the way to go. These are people that we will likely talk to on multiple occasions and will have follow up questions. The incremental closing is a method to set up that final closing, it is an action to moves the process along but does not result in a final answer. This is a call to action at the end of a conversation that leads us into the next conversation and keeps our guest involved in the process. Usually, it is asking them to do some research that will support what we have been saying and builds trust with the customer. That way, when all is said and done, the closing is already set up, we have already moved them along to that decision point.

With the more direct people we deal with an immediate decision closing is the way to go. These people are not the sort to go back and forth about a decision; they want to get it done and off their plate as soon as possible. We need to be able to realize and accommodate that style and actually ask for a closing commitment at the end of the conversation. If we have identified and addressed their problem or need at this point, this should be easy and natural. If it isn’t, then we need to take a look at the rest of the process and see if we are actually improving their life or if it just a matter of our own fear of rejection that keeps us from asking for that close. If it is our fear, which is something we need to get over. Either they see the value for their lives or they don’t, it does not diminish the value of our lives or of our effort to help. If is a matter of a faulty system, that needs to be looked at and resolved so that asking for a closing is natural and easy.

What steps are you going to take at this point to make sure to separate yourself from the pack and actually ask for a closing? I use a tally sheet that lists the conversations I have compared to the ones that I ask for a close on. It is a startling visual for myself and drives me to ask more than I would naturally. Come up with something that works for you and actually ask. If you don’t ask, you are assuming they are a no, and that is a bad road to let yourself wander down.


Life’s Too Short to Have Bad Days!  What are YOU doing to make today Fantastic?  Please leave us your comments.