I have discovered an unexpected benefit of the self growth I have been doing as xiaoyi and I work on becoming entrepreneurs. I have found that I am described as a very good sport when I am in competition. Both when I am losing and when I am winning, the people I have faced always comments on how fun I was to play against and how much of a good sport I am about things. This got me thinking one evening as I drove home after a game where lady luck was on my side and I pounded my opponent pretty badly. What do I do that makes me a good sport? What is it about me that people have such fun playing against me, win or lose? And how do I apply this to my life?
I think the first and most important part of it is that I am there to have fun. To me, that is the point of when I go to compete or to play. It is a method for me to have a good time. Having that attitude in place as I walk in, allows me to go with the flow and let the setbacks roll off my back like water off a duck. No need for me to get up in arms or agitated because the swing doesn’t go right or the dice backfire on me; they are all a part of the activity and I am taking pleasure in the activity. This outlook on the whole thing lets me laugh at my own misfortune and maintain that spirit of fun. It also helps me maintain a spirit of gratitude. I mean, I am getting to indulge in something that brings me joy, why dwell on the negative to the detriment of the whole?
The second part of it is interacting with my opponent. Though I go into something like this with a jovial attitude, I don’t assume that they are in that same place. I hope they are having fun, but I don’t assume that they can shrug off the vagaries of fate the same way that I do. Instead, I endeavor to create a connection to them during those hard moments when everything seems to be going against them. This is most apparent when I am gaming (tabletop, board games, miniature games, etc.) as the dice can play a major role in the game. When the dice backfire on my opponent, I support their incredulity in the role. “That is just unreal man, suck!” Things along that line put me and my opponent on the same side of the table and fate on the other side. We can both glare at fate and roll our eyes at the miss turns it sends our way.
On the other hanf, when my dice are on fire, instead of taking obvious joy in the results, I instead put myself in my opponent’s shoes and commiserate with them. “Wow man, sorry. My dice want you dead.” Little things like this, again, put my opponent and I on the same side of the table. I know and they know that the competitive side of me is happy for the good roles, but I am showing an understanding of being on the other side of fate’s stick and that creates a connection between us.
These things can be used in all sorts of situations in life. Realizing that everything isn’t as earth shatteringly important as we often think it is, is the first step. Most of time, we can shrug, let it roll off and laugh at the vagaries of life. This helps us to maintain our own sense of gratitude and helps to show others that the pains in life don’t have to ruin our joys. Secondly, this portion is a great way to deal with people. Finding ways to move from being across the table from them, aka in contention, to being on the same side of the table is a powerful tool. The problem is the thing that should be across the table, the thing that needs to be countered or solved and by putting ourselves on the same side of the table as the other person, we can gang up on that problem. We create a sense of camaraderie and cooperation that can’t occur while both people are glaring at each other rather than at the problem and our goal in our business here is to help you improve your life so that you enjoy more fun, freedom and fulfillment.
Next time you are out and participating in a competition of some sort(or life), remember these ideas and see where you might be able to implement them into your contest/day. It feels great walking away having won the joy of being a good sport whether you won or lost the event. It is always a win in my books.