Do you have what it takes?

We all have been there; listening to a training on how to improve our lives and be successful and the message that is preached is to go at it with 100% intensity and drive. How many times have you heard something along those same lines? How many times have we tried to do that and found that we could not maintain the drive as our mind and body burnt out? I know that I have done that more than a few times in my life and have abandoned dreams because of it. I have some to the conclusion that I was misunderstanding the message and not picking up on an important aspect of the trainings. The simple truth of it is that we need balance in life rather than just drive.

The message that I didn’t understand in all those trainings, is that the drive to hit our dreams and activities with 100% intensity is referring to the drive we need when we are doing those activities. Most time in these trainings, the speaker talks about the things in their life that has improved.  Yet if you read between the lines, you will realize that those things are not always 100% drive towards the professed goals. This is because the trainer is naturally taking balance into their own equation, working with that full drive when they are working on their dreams and goals, but taking time here and there to enjoy the fruits of their labors. I have no doubt that they are indulging in those fruits with the same 100% intensity, and when they are, they are using them to recharge their batteries. This is the only way to make the pace and drive we have sustainable. We can’t be working on our dreams every moment of every day, unless we can create a balance in our lives that still achieves the steps needed to reach our goals and gives us the time to recharge.

One of the secrets to this balance is to never let the recharging period become the status quo, allowing our dreams to stagnate and die.  We need balance, that there must be a give and take between the aspects of our lives. This can be a tough road to walk, but we are all dedicated to learning how to walk our path and keep moving towards our dreams.

For me, this balance comes in spending a day each week to connect with my good friends and play a board game, it gives me a connection outside of the driving dream that my wife and I share and a place to let my internal stores get refueled. What sorts of things do you do to recharge those batteries so that you can drive forward along your path with steady and constant momentum instead of getting dragged down by the quagmire or having your tanks run dry and ending up on the side of the road hoping for someone else to rescue you?


Life’s too short to have bad days.  What are YOU doing to make today fantastic?

Three ways to Help Make Sales:

In all our lives, we make sales. Not only of items and of services we represent for income but also for relationships and enjoyment.  Here are suggestions on how to increase your skills at making sales and getting the enjoyment you want out of life.

Lay It Out:

            Many of us speak with people every day regarding our business and the product or service that we are represent. Many people go into these discussion haphazardly and end up either not getting everything they need done on that conversation or fail to make a connection with the person that they are talking to. Here are 3 ways to help improve the conversation from start to finish.

            First :pre-planning.

Before we get to the meeting or pick up the phone, we need to do a little research and planning. We need to sit down and review where we are with the person that we will be working with and any notes from previous times that we have worked or spoken with them. Additionally, we need to set down a plan on how we are going to speak with them and what goals we have for the meeting. This prevents us from getting to the end of the interaction and realizing that we didn’t get the information we need to progress, that we failed in the purpose of the meeting.

            Second:  Starting the conversation

This is the most important part, when we first start the conversation. This is the time that we need to give a statement of intent. We need to tell the person what the purpose of the meeting is, what we are trying to achieve in that interaction. This does a couple things for us. It puts both us and the person on the same page, creating the same template to work from during the interaction. It also shows respect for the person we are speaking with by involving them in reaching the goals that are set out. This is also the time to link this interaction to any of the other interactions that we have done with the person. This is when we say what we did last time and what we want to to in this conversation.

It also gains permission from the person to continue. This allows them to have a say in the process and invites them into the discussion as a participant rather than just an observed.

            Third:  follow through

Finally, we need to take some post interaction work. This is where we need to sit down and take complete notes on the interaction so that when we speak with the person again, we know where we are and what we will be doing for the next interaction. There is nothing worse than having an interaction with someone and finding that you already answered all the questions with them on a previous meeting that you had listed out in your pre-planning. This step is vital to keep the flow of your interactions moving forward and showing that respect to the other person.


These three things will make any prolonged series of interaction with someone far easier and more connected then it would have been otherwise. By keeping things organized, streamlined and personalized to each person you talk to, you increase your chances of making the sale.  Most people will say no the first time they are offered something so feel free to ask them again and again over time as they build a relationship with you and learn to trust you.   How are these strategies going to assist you in your future interactions? If you would like to learn more techniques like this one we recommend joining HERE to learn from many of the greats we learn from.  



Life’s too Short to Have Bad Days! What are YOU doing to Make Today Fantastic?


need or product

image courtesy of :

image courtesy of :

The Need or the Product?

The end goal of a sales position is to get people to buy the product that we are selling. The training and methods that we develop are based around that end, but many times that training actually gets in the way of achieving that end. In many cases, the salesperson is trained in how to sell the product that they have. In our culture today, we have been taught that salespeople are not be trusted, that they are snake oil salesman or used car dealers and are only there until the money transfers hands and then the sales person disappear into the void. The unfortunate truth is that in a lot of situations that is exactly what will happen and the customer has every right to fear that outcome. There is a way to surmount this problem for your clients and it revolves around the actual selling process.

Instead of focusing our product when we are at a sales meeting, the real trick to getting around cultural bias is to listen. We need to sit down and develop our sales system so that it focuses on listening to the customer and learning about them. This is in an effort to really learn and understand the needs and wants that they have that they are looking to have solved. We need to be engaged in the conversation so that we can uncover the actual conditions that need to be met for someone to purchase our product instead of the smoke screens that are going to be tossed up. Once we have uncovers those conditions and really understood them, at that point we can demonstrate our product to the customer in a way that actually solves their problem, meets their conditions. If our product can do that, the customer will feel confident in purchasing the product.

The demonstration is not the only bonus we get out of this need-based selling method. When we really listen to someone, it creates a bond between the two people and that bond breeds trust. We can’t sell anything to somebody who doesn’t trust us, so finding ways to build that trust is vital to the end result. Additionally, this sort of selling method helps us in an emotional capacity. When all is said and done and the customer walks away after purchasing, this needs based selling has made it so that we can honestly look at the situation and be proud of ourselves that we helped someone out with their problems. We don’t have to wonder if we omitted information that would have ruined the sale or somehow tricked the customer into purchasing because we took the effort to understand and address the reasons that they were looking for a product in the first place. These are wonderful benefits to a system that is already more effective at achieving the end goal of making a sale.

So how can you modify your product based sales to be a more need-based sales method?


Life’s too Short to have Bad Days!  What are YOU doing to make today FANTASTIC?

Work or Play?

     Work has always been a trial for me; it has always been something that I did because I had to do it to survive. I never found the joy in work that other people seem to have, the closest I ever got to joy in work was to be happy that I had a job, but apathetic, at best, to the actual process of work. Often times I hated work.  But give me a chance to play and have fun and I was there.  I never thought that maybe I could make work play.

      I have always been someone who really enjoys games of all sorts, from video games to board games and such. Today, I watched a presentation by Darren Hardy, the editor of Success Magazine,  and learned how to turn my work into a game and it’s change my entire outlook on life. Making everything a game isn’t easy.  There are several steps to go in doing this.  Here is the simple process I am following:

1: Decide on Major Goals: What are my goals at the office and with regards to this blog?  I don’t want to be overwhelmed so I decided my best bet is to choose three goals that I want to work on.  Three things that I want to achieve and the timeframe that I want to achieve them in. (In a video game this might be killing the BIG BOSS.)        

2: Objective: I decided what my objectives would be or what steps I needed to take to reach these three big goals. This is the process of deciding what key behaviors in me that I need to change in order to achieve my major goals; it is MY plan to get to the goal. (Once in a video game I spent an entire week killing skeletons in a graveyard just so I could get an item that would help me win a fight against the big boss.  That was the “objective” I needed to reach my “goal” of killing that BOSS)

3: Tracking Progress: There has to be a way to track progress, be it marking off each day that I accomplish the tasks that I identified in step 2 to get to my goals or something immediate like moving marbles from one jar to another every time that I complete part of the daily task. (I needed to kill 10,000 skeletons to get my item in the video game.  Luckily the game would keep count/track my progress for me)        

4: Create Rewards: There has to be incentive to actually do the hard things that make the goals happen. This step is creating something that will give me a sense of joy and accomplishment when I succeed at the objective and even bigger rewards when I achieve a goal. (Man when I killed that boss it felt sooooo Good!!!)

5: Create Consequences: It is natural for humans to put more work into avoiding something that they don’t want, then to reach for what they do. This is capitalizing on that concept. Create consequences that you will hold yourself to if you don’t complete your objective. (The first several times I had tried to kill that boss without the item was infuriating!  It was why I was willing to spend a week killing skeletons even though killing them every day wasn’t really much fun after the first hundred or two)

6: Engage Competition: Darwin tells us that only the strong and most adept survive to propagate the species. This is competition in its most distilled form, but those instincts are still in us and we can use them. I will engage others to compete with me on my objective to increase my drive. I can even compete against myself to beat my previous record to create this incentive. (With my video game, I wanted the really cool piece of armor that big Boss dropped when you killed him. I had seen other players with it so I knew he could be beaten but I had to figure out how in order to continue to compete with the other players who did have the armor.)

     Now I have a framework to turn my work into fun, but how will this actually work?  Xiaoyi and I did this to help me at my insurance job. One of the big goals the company has for me is to solicit life insurance to our customers. There isn’t immediate incentive to do this like a bonus or anything so my motivation for doing it was low.  There was simply no reward for doing it that mattered to me. Because of this, I was terrible at doing it and the bosses were a constant thorn in my side because of it.   So my wife and I created a game for me to play.

           1: Goal: Become comfortable with soliciting life insurance and increase my referral rate and get my bosses off my back about it!

           2: Objective:  Use embracing failure and get at least 100 people to tell me no to life insurance in a month.  That means that I will have to ask at least 100 people about the referrals and what’s more, it means that if any of them say “yes” I have to ask more than 100 people.  And I had to use the company scripts and do my best to get them to say yes even though I was playing the game for No’s.  Cheating on this was against our rules.

          3: Tracking: We created a checkbox list  that I keep at my desk, right next to my phone.  This is the board for the game. Every time someone tells me “No” they go on the “Death List” for the month.  (That was my wife’s idea, “since they don’t want life, they must want death,” was her logic.  This appeals greatly to my sense of humor so we went with it.)

          4: Create Rewards: Rewards have to have meaning to the victor.  If the reward was not something I wanted, I wouldn’t play the game.  So here is how we decided on my reward for those 100 Death Referrals.  I am on a low carb diet because I am working on eating healthier. It is working and I have lost 25 pounds since I started. Well, one of my favorite foods is pizza. Pizza is not low-carb. So my reward is that I get to indulge in my favorite pizza once in the next month if I meet my requirements for the objective. Hey, you might be motivated by a new watch or necklace but for me, I am motivated by good pizza.

          5: Create Consequences:  If I fail, I don’t get to purchase a new video game or spend money on gaming in general for the next month.  (You might have noticed from above that I play video games a lot and really enjoy doing so and like all gamers, I am always ready for and looking at the new games that come out.)

          6: Competition: I have gotten other people in my office to join in trying to get as many people on their “Death List” as they can each month and we’ll pass a trophy around to the person that gets the most each month as a sign of the winner.  It might seem a little cheesy to some, and I’ll be honest the trophy really isn’t my thing, but having my co-workers at 25 Death Referrals when I only have 10 really kicks in my pizza craving and I up my game to get my pizza!

     This simple game has tripled the number of times during a day that I actually ask people if they want life insurance and has done great things to my referral rates too. Now I am finding ways to apply this idea to the work of creating my fortune and watch as my enjoyment and fulfillment in life take off for the stars!

     What games can you create to get you through those tasks that you hate? Give me some examples and tell me how they are working out for you. We would love to hear from you; post your game in the comments below!  Turn life into the game that it should be!


Life’s too short to have bad days!  What are you doing to make today FANTASTIC?


Dealing with Pain

Dealing with Pain:

Sometimes we will feel pain.  The only place where people live that they never experience pain is in graveyards.  We know that we will experience pain in our lives and we cannot avoid it. When we feel pain there are several routes we could take; the simplest and worst of the options is to give into that pain and let it dictate your actions and reactions. By allowing the pain to control us, we stop directing our own journeys and end up taking a path that may lead nowhere. It certainly doesn’t lead to self- improvement and growth.    There is a better option, an option that allows us to feel the pain and use it; kind of like we do in physical therapy as we are healing from injuries.   

First,  we need  is to understand where the pain is coming from. This isn’t simply identifying the source of the pain, but seeing further into where it comes from. On our journey in network marketing, a common pain that we will run into is the derision of those around us, especially from those that we love. They see the path that we have chosen and try to tear us down, put us back into the flock of humans that never strive to be better than what they have day to day. The thing that we need to do is really understand where the reactions that we get from others comes from and why they are inflicting that pain on us as we try to move into our ideal future.  So we feel pain from their judgments but why are they judging us?  

The answer is shockingly simple: they are afraid! Anything that disrupts the “normal” flow of life is something to be feared. Fear is the tool that kept us safe in caveman days and allowed us to evolve to where we are as a species today. Things outside of the normal don’t carry that same weight as they did in cave days,  they don’t have a strong likelihood of ending our lives or causing major physical damage anymore, but the fear can still be there. This is actually a very nice thing for them to do as they see it because they are trying to protect us in their own eyes.  Different and new things are scary.  In early days, anything new or different could very well be trying to eat us so we learned to fear different things.  That is why people lash out when they see us living our lives differently, they want to get things back to the normal( or what they know is safe) and ripping us off our path is the easiest way for that to happen. When we understand where their attacks come from, we can step back and understand that it isn’t actually a personal attack, we are not bad or evil in anyway, they are just thoughtlessly reacting to their own fears.

There will be pain in our lives, yet we decide how it affects us. There are a few real choices in what we can do when we feel pain. We can FREEZE!!!  We can let pain paralyze us, cause us to stop in our tracks and live in that pain.  While freezing might seem to be a good idea, it only helps short-term if at all.  freezing degrade our ability to keep moving on our path, sinking us in a quagmire that is next to impossible to free ourselves from. This is also the most common reaction to emotional pain, to do nothing about it. To just figureatively stick our heads int eh sand and hope for things to get better. Until recently this was my default for dealing with emotionally unpleasent things. I would ignore them and hope the pain would go away.  It never did. I had to actually face the pain and deal with the reason it was happening before I could stop hurting.  By freezing and ignoring the pain, we are doing the emotional equivilent of hoping a broken arm will heal itsself properly if we ignore the fact the bone is sticking out of the arm.  

Alternatively, we can give into the pain and look to mitigate it. This would be stepping away from our path in life, the path that we want for our futures and fall back into the herd that caused the pain to begin with. Trying to conform to what others want us to be so that their fear doesn’t cause them to lash out and cause us pain. Again, this does nothing to move us away from our dreams and  in fact it is the primary reason that dreams die. Why struggle to achieve our dreams when we know there will be pain? It is easier to accept the slow, chronic pain of an unfulfilled life rather than the pain of ridicule from the herd.  This would be like taking an aspirin for the broken  bone and learning to just live with the arm broken.  

The BEST choice is using pain as motivation.  FEEL the BURN!!!! We can use our pain to drive us along our path towards our dreams. We can take that pain and toss it on the fire of our passions and the let it fuel the blazing light of our dreams. This is the option that we need to embrace and make work for us. This is the option that we choose when we exercise our physical bodies, using the pain to push through the boundaries that we thought were in front of us. There is no difference when it comes to emotional pain, we have to use it to shatter the obstacles that try to define us.  This is finding the tools/doctor to set the bone properly, letting it heal and building strength slowly and steadily through physical therapy and growing stronger than we were before the break.  

Learning how to use pain to drive our internal engines and forces us to grow beyond where we are currently is a process. For me, I discovered it comes in the form of writing.  This is the fuel gets me to put fingers to keyboard and to forcefully grasp my dreams and my future and drive them forward. How do you use the pain you feel to better your life? I look forward to hearing your thoughts!


4 Great Life Hacks for Success

4 Keys to Achieve Goals:  

            Success isn’t about getting other people to do what you want. Success comes from the mindset that we take into our day to day lives as we move forward in our world. This isn’t just something we can turn on, but is rather a set of skills that we have to develop and practice to get proficient at and master. Here I will share, with you, four keys that will make the process of learning and honing those skills easier.

            Key #1: Goal Setting – This one is simple to understand, but it is the linchpin to everything else. We must have goals that we are striving for, be they goals that of production or just of progress along our path. The key here is not that we need to have goals, it is that we need to make those goals strong and clear. The goal can’t be something that doesn’t progress us along our path, that doesn’t stand up to the trials that we are going to face. It has to be something that withstands the hardships and persists through the lows. Additionally, it has to be a clear goal, something we can actually understand how to progress towards. A goal that isn’t clear in our own minds won’t help us progress to where we want to be. In fact, an unclear goal might even run us in circles as we keep moving, rather than helping us make progress. Keep your goals clear and measurable.

            Key #2: Drive – The drive to achieve our goals is next skill. This is the “Why”, the reason that the goal is there in the first place and it needs to be bulletproof. It is our motivational force that will drive us always closer and closer to the goal.  It has to something so deep in us that we can’t let it go, that we can’t let the outside world tarnish or damage it. If our progress is the measure of how we are doing on moving towards our goal, the Why is the reason we stepped foot on the path in first place, the reason that we keep putting one aching foot in front of the other no matter what!

            Key #3: Emotional Understanding– This is the ability to read yourself and your emotions and see how they are impacting you and your goals. It is the skill that allows us to understand what is going on inside so that we can develop the other skills that we will need to achieve our goals. It is crucial to understand where we are so that we can understand the filters that we are seeing our plans and goals through. It is also vital if to understand how our emotions impact those around us and their reactions to us.  What emotions do you have that help you reach your goals?  Which ones do you find get in the way?  When you are feeling joyful, how do you share that joy with others and how do they respond?

            Key #4: Social Skills– For all of us, even those of us who hang out behind a computer (like me), social skills are vital to our success. They include the ability to communicate effectively with those we work with and those that we discuss business opportunities with. We need to be able to adapt our responses to the styles that other people around us use so that we can communicate with them in a way that they can understand.  A way that they can embrace and move forward with. This can be the ability to train someone who doesn’t think like we do, or to reach out to a someone that doesn’t approach the world the way we do, or simply knowing if we should use geek speak to explain something or break it down into simpler terms then technobabble.  If we are not adaptable and skilled in this, we can only really deal with people with the same sort of filters and experiences with the world that we have, which cuts out a vast majority of the population that we could be reaching.

            These are 4 simple keys that we can develop to reach any goal in our life, 4 things to learn and practice as we move forward in our lives. So how are these ideas going to progress your life and goals?


Life’s too Short to Have Bad Days! What are YOU doing to Make Today Fantastic?


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