Archive | July 2016

Small steps towards Sucess

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image courtsy of : www.

Breaking Up Our Goals:

When we set out to change our lives, we set large and impressive goals for ourselves, goals that will change the way we live our lives. This is exactly what we should be doing, but that can be rather daunting at times. For me, I find that there are many times along the road to my goals that it feels like I have made no progress, like I am not actually traveling the road at all. It even feels like I might be on the wrong road altogether as the results I want are not showing themselves. This is a very common thing to happen and something that we need address within ourselves so that we can keep reaching for those big goals. There are two skills that I develop to deal with this situation.

The first skill is to take the big and scary goal that I have and chop it up into little goals that need to be completed on the way to the big goals. These are goals that, when they are all done, will add up to the big and scary goal that I have, but they are smaller and more manageable so that I don’t get discouraged. The key here is to make the small goals something that either can be complete in relatively short order that we know will contribute to the larger goal, or something that can be tracked easily enough that I can see the progress on it. Through the progress I can see on the little goals that I create, I can see that I am progressing along my path, and since that little goal is an integral part of the large and scary goal, I can see that I am progressing along that path as well. These little goals are the mile markers along my path, showing me that I am headed down the road and not just sitting still and spinning my wheels.

The second skill I have taught myself is patience. This is the hardest thing in the world for me and for many people. We have been taught and breed to want to see immediate results on anything we do. This is a faulty way to look at the world. The immediate results that we see are nothing more than a reaction and are not representative of the sustainable change in our lives. It is because of this realization that I found that I had to create the ability to be patient in my life. I found that if I appreciate the immediate results, but wait and see what the sustained results are going to be, I can judge my success in that arena far better than I would have been able to going off the reaction results. This skill has also let me take the time and effort needed to see long term and large goals gaining ground even though, at the start, the motion along them is very minute. It has built a well of strength so that I can stay the course while there is little or no progress knowing that down the line, things will start to snowball.

The big and scary goals can be terrifying to create and even worse to look at every day, especially if it doesn’t look like there is any progress on them. It is time to take a step back and exercise some hard patience and let that the small tasks I am doing,  snowball and keep rolling instead  of getting in its way. Additionally, it is time to break that large goal into smaller steps where I can see the change and the progress that I am making. This gives me the sense of progress that helps to bolster the patience and lets me keep trudging along the rocky path to my bright future.

The Power of The Silent Sell

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One mistake of many salespeople is to think that they need to do the majority of the talking since they are the person “in the driver’s seat” and knowledgeable about the products. While it is true the sales person knows the product, even car salesfolk know, you have to let the customer drive the vehicle if you want to make the sale. If the sales person does all the talking. It makes the customer feel like they are talking to a sleazy salesperson who only cares about commission rather than someone that they can trust, and trust is the cornerstone of making the sale. There are two keys things that we should remember as we go through our selling processes.

First: the sales process is more effective and better for both us and our customer if we treat it like a conversation. After all the customer is a person too! Be truly and honestly interested in that person and why they are coming to us in the first place. What aspects of their lives are they trying to change by looking into our product? This is vital throughout the sales process. It creates a connection between us and the customer that can blossom into a trust. It also allows us to listen and to understand what the customer is looking for so that we can help them pick which product will fit them best rather than just spewing features of the product at them. This is a vital portion of a customer based sales method rather than a product-focused sales method and works far better in the long run.

The second part of this comes at the end of the conversation when we ask for the sale. Many times we, as the sales person, get nervous and flustered after we ask the customer to commit to the sale and start rambling on and on about the product or inventing problems to solve, problems that the customer probably wasn’t thinking of. This is where some self-control comes in and we use our silence as a lever to our advantage. If we stay silent after we ask for the sale, we create a few benefits to us and to our customer. First off, it allows the customer to formulate their thoughts and decide if there is anything additional that they need to address before they are comfortable making the purchase. Second, it create an impression of confidence in ourselves that goes a long way to reinforcing our posture and removing the feelings of being desperate to make the sale, feelings that the customer will pick up on and that will be detrimental to us getting the sale. Finally, it is a tactic to let the customer sell themselves on the product. If we stay silent, the customer will be forced into breaching that silence and they will do it in one of three ways. One: they will formulate real concerns that they want to address, in which case we can assist with address those. Two: they will start to solve their own smokescreen issues and sell themselves on the product for us, applying benefits of the product to their own concerns. Three: they will ask how they can make the purchase. If you notice, all of these outcomes is a good thing for us and for the customer.

So how are you going to use the power of staying silent to really get at the meat of your customer’s concerns?

Sunday Story Time – A Grimm Night in the Forest Part 1

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A Grimm Night in the Forest

By Ming Drake


The snow fell with massive force outside the burning coal clouds of the city as Grimm stood huddled against a large tree. The lights of the town he had just left burned below in the gloom of the evening, their brilliance lighting up the underside of the great clouds of ash that perpetually hung in the skies above. The blackened snow that he had found on the city streets had turned to an off white as he made his way away from the city.

Grimm watched, feeling wretched in the cold, as a lone figure made its way towards him along the path from the city, the deep green of the figures cloak being slowly obscured by the snow as it fell.

How did I find myself in this?’ Grimm thought as the figure of Lady Wessex drew closer with every passing minute. ‘When have I ever let someone live after they have seen me for who I am, I must be going soft of late. And what is with her enthusiasm for leaving the city? Daddy’s money can’t be that much of a burden’ he grumbled to himself as he took stock of his new traveling companion. She was a figure of indulgent beauty, her clock blowing back to reveal a well-toned figure in a fitted jacket and flowing skirts, all of a golden hue. A bejewel breathing mask sat on her face and her piercing green eyes studied Grimm as she approached. Leather holsters draped from her hips and held highly augmented pistols, pistols that Grimm had seen her use to good effect when they faced the deranged Aberrent only an hour before. That job had gone bad for Grimm the moment Lady Wessex had shown up. Now he was stuck with her if he didn’t want to kill her and that meant fleeing the city that he had lived in for all his life, hunting the same Aberrents that came from the slums that he himself did.

“Was the trip worth it Lady Wessex?” Grimm asked with a sneer that barely covered his shiver as the Lady came to stand just outside the covering shelter of the tree Grimm stood under.

“Most certainly Mr. Grimm. As I told you when I decided to go back, the necessities that I had left at home would be invaluable as we made our way through the wilderness.” She replied, her tone and stance showing a strength that was only barely marred by her continual glances towards Grimm’s chest where his shirt hung in tatters and the fading light of the day glinted off his skin beneath, skin that seemed infused with the sheen of metal. “Shall we be on our way then?” she asked, tearing her eyes away and moving quickly off the road and into the trackless forest that surrounded the city.

As the lady moved past Grimm, he noticed a large pack strapped to her back and a long package attached to the side of the pack. From the looks of the item, Grimm surmised that the Lady Wessex had taken another toy with her as she left her family estates.


Proof of Progress

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An interesting thing happened to me recently; I had to go into the courthouse to serve my jury duty. This isn’t the first time that I have done this, in fact I am one of those people that get a jury summons almost every year. The last time I got a summons I was about 6 months to a year before xiaoyi and I started this branch of our journey that we have been sharing and I found a profound difference in my outlook on the whole jury duty situation.

The laws are sure that a place of employment has to give you time off, so that you can go to a jury summons. The laws says nothing about paying you for that time off and that is the reality I had lived every other time that I had gone to serve jury duty. It was always a strain on my mental well-being as I stressed about finances because I was losing out on at least a day of wages, something that always made things more difficult for me. That colored my entire perception of the process. I always felt that it was a waste of my time, that it was a massive annoyance that I could happily live without. Add into that the fact that I had never been chosen for a jury and it all seemed like the biggest waste of time that I was legally obligated to attend. Needless to say, my views after getting called in for it time and again just created a cycle of me dreading the summons each time it appeared.

This time I got the summons, my initial response was the same as it had always been, annoyance and frustrations. Yet as I woke up on the morning in question I was in a good mood. I had slept in a bit from my usual wake up time and had a bit more time before I had to run out the door. That gave me time to enjoy my coffee and breakfast and relax a little before heading out. The traffic was light as I was headed away from the city to reach the courthouse and it was a very pleasant morning. Even after I got there, checked in and sat down, none of the frustration and annoyance of the past times intruded on me. I spent the morning answering questions from the judge and lawyers and was eventually not selected for the jury and was released to head home. On the way home, I realized that it was a good experience all in all. So what had changed?

I asked myself that question on my way home and realized that I had changed. The work on self growth and personal development that I have been doing these past months has drastically changed my outlook. I was not frustrated at losing a day of work because the money would still be there and be waiting for me. It didn’t need me grinding away at a desk today, so I wasn’t out anything there, but that wasn’t the real reason for the change. My outlook on life in general has changed so much that it even transferred into this situation. I was able to spend the morning looking at all the things that were enjoyable, all the things that I could learn and invest my mind and attention on. So I didn’t lose the time I spent that morning at jury duty, I used it to expand my own horizons and implement that perception practices that I have been using and sharing here. And that practice, that change in outlook, turned and annoying and frustrating morning into a joyful experience. Maybe next time I will be selected for the jury and get to experience even more in this life than have.

This situation showed me very clearly that I am changing and I am growing. It was one of those moments when I was able to see and realize the results of my personal investments and the growth that I have achieved over the past year. This has been profound for me and helped to fuel the fire to keep moving forward and keep working and growing. Have you had an experience that has shown you the extent of the changes you have made in your life? Please share what that was and how it helped you on your path, I would love to hear it!


selling slumps :(

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We have all been told at one point or another in our careers that we should not have any attachment to the response of our customer/prospect. It does not matter if they do not want to buy the product, there will be others and having a strong desire for a specific person to buy is likely to be detrimental to our efforts. That attitude is not always that easy to maintain, but I have found another piece of ammunition to use to help me not care about the answer. That ammunition is simple that a “no” does not really mean “no”, but rather it means “not now”’.

Recently I got a call from a customer/prospect that I had spoken to months ago on my travel club. At the time I first shared it with them and they said “no” I just moved on and continued what I was working without a thought for the answer. As the days and weeks went by and the “no’s” kept piling up, I found myself having a harder and harder time maintaining the attitude of not having no attachment to the prospects answer. When that old prospect called, it was to sign up in the travel club with me turning that “no” into a “yes”. Not only did this feel good and give me a boost as I headed out to continue to sell, but it gave me a piece of fodder for those times that the pile of “no” keeps getting bigger. It showed me that every one of those rejections was just a deal waiting for the right time. It allowed me to view every “no” in a new light.

Now I am charging forward into the list of new prospects that MLSP has helped me generate  and brushing off the impact of the “no” answers as they come. If you are interested in getting a pile of potential “no”s to go through, reach out to me and I will hook you up with the amazing skills and products MLSP has given me, it has been a massive boon to me and will be for you too in getting more leads. What ammunition do you use to fight the demons that start to plague you as you go through a selling slump?


I Want to be My Best


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Our Best Self:


So what is our best self? What are those aspects of how we feel and how we act on those days that we are feeling our best? This is a question that everyone should ask and has started me thinking about my best self and what that means to me. So today, I am going to do an exercise and list the aspects of myself that I treasure the most when I am feeling the best about myself and about life.

*Enthusiastic – Being excited to do things during the course of a day. Looking forward to the tasks of the day.

*Loving – Showing my love for those that I love and feeling that fully and deeply every day.

*Indulging – Experiencing the things that I love to their fullest. Pizza and a movie are the perfect indulgence for me.

*Indulgent – Being present and engaged while those I love are sharing the things they love the most.

*Attentive – Being aware of my surroundings and being active with the people I am around.

*Engaged – Being a participant rather than just an observer. Getting in there and experiencing new things.

*Smiling – Just having an expression on happiness at often and authentically as I can.

*Joking – Taking the opportunity to joke and play around with those around me. Seeing the humor and joy in the world around me.

*Wondrous – Finding the amazing in the things around me. Taking the time to view and appreciate the beautiful and awesome things around me every day.


So, given that I have a list of the traits that I feel when I am happiest, what is getting in the way of me feeling those everyday and being the best me every day? These are things that are easy to do and accomplish on the weekends, so there is something about the weekdays that cause me to lose sight of these and not live them the way that I do on other days? The simple answer is work, the weekdays are the days that I work and that simple thing throws a wrench in my ideal self.

My work now is to find ways to maintain those traits above even on work-days. Ways that I can enhance this  5/7ths of my life so that I am living as the person that I love being the most. What traits create the best you for you? What challenges do you face to be that person? This is a great exercise. In fact, I recommend that you print out your list of aspects that make the best you and put them somewhere that you will see them every day. Find a place that you look on a daily basis, a place that you will see in the morning just after you become awake. That way they are fresh in your mind and you can concentrate on living them every day.

What do I need to do?

Always Act, Never React:

With everything that has been going on in the world recently, it has me thinking about a lesson I learned many years ago and how it has improved my life in countless ways. Today will be a little different than most of my posts as I won’t be focusing on the marketing or sales, or even on the journey towards a goal. Instead, I wanted to share a life lesson I’ve learned that has made dealing with the hardest points in my life far easier than I see other people deal with similar issues. Today I want to talk about the power of taking purposeful action in a situation rather than reacting to the stimuli of that situation.

When we encounter something that pushes our buttons like the killings in Orlando, actions that cause us pain and heartache, actions that fuel our anger and rage; we have an instantaneous reply to those events. We have gut reactions that the vast majority of the people act on. People don’t think or weight their actions, they don’t decide the results that they want and form a plan on how they can achieve those goals, they simply react to the negative stimuli and let the results fall where they may. In almost every situation that I have witnessed, both in our larger culture and in my own life, this reaction is always to the detriment of everyone involved in the situation. Reactions are a system in our instincts meant to keep us alive in an immediate situation, they are nothing but a survival instinct and that instinct doesn’t care what happens an hour, a week, a year or even a decade down the line. It only cares that we survive the immediate situation in whatever way that we can. That isn’t a bad thing when we are truly involved in a life or death situation, but our lives are diluted in immediate danger to the point where we take that instinct and use it on situations that pose no immediate damage to us. We use those gut instincts to dictate our actions on a larger scale and that is a practice that is certain to cause more pain and damage both to others and to our own goals and lives than is needed.

After living through the pain and suffering of these reactions made by myself and those around me, I managed to step back and with the help of some friends and some good books was able to see them as the vectors for pain that they really are. This allowed me to learn a new skill and that was to learn to Act rather than to React. When we take the time to look at a situation, form goals on how we want to see the outcome of the situation pan out and, in a broader sense, how that results of the situation will fit into the life we want to live, we have the power to act in ways contrary to our instincts in an effort to create the desired outcome. It doesn’t always work, but it gives us a chance to have positive outcomes occur in situations that are seemed destined for negative outcomes.

This is a skill that we can all learn, though it is very difficult at first. It means drowning out the instinctual voice and taking a step back from the drive to do something and instead  give ourselves time to think and formulate a plan. This is something that we need to learn to become better people and to teach those around us to create a better community and world in which to live in. It means taking the responsibility ourselves to act in a thoughtful and active manner rather than thoughtlessly and damaging and it can be a terribly difficult thing to learn. Yet, it has improved my life in countless ways from removing the damage from situations that I find myself in, to learning how to perceive myself and how I interact with the world. There are few skills in my life that I would say come anywhere close to this one in helping to create the life I want and that influences the most positive change in the world around me.

Take some time as you read the news or follow on social media in the next months of life and when you feel that roiling turmoil in your gut or your soul, take a break from it and think about the situation as an outside observer might. What are your instincts telling you to do and what would be the results of following the reactions in an immediate sense and in a long term sense? What actions can you take instead that will not only make the situation itself better, but be better for you and the world around you? That is the power of acting instead of reacting and I would encourage you to learn to harness that power in your own life.