Time and time again I have talked about the “Why Power” that drives us to our goals; that thing that sits in us and fuels our commitment when willpower is a distant memory and the pain and hardships we face feel overwhelming. I talk about this idea and it is always a good thing, something that we need to have and understand in order to fully use. Commonly we only think of Why Power in terms of creating something good or other positive ideals. We don’t think about how a negative Why can be just as powerful, can be just as dominating in our ability to drive past our limitations and through the pain and hardship. The thing to remember is that good or bad, Whys have the same power to transform our lives; they do not define the person we want to be.
Humans are competitive by natures, has to do with that whole survival of the fittest that Darwin spoke about. There are very few motivators in our life that have the power to drive us beyond our limitation as much as competition does. This is something to keep in mind when you are looking for your Why Power. As long as the Why rings true for you, that is the key that matter. Even if the Why is seen as a negative one like Keeping Up With The Jones or having more money than your siblings. These are not socially accepted reasons for doing things, but if they are true to your Why, you can still use them to drive yourself through the rough patches on your journey.
Every now and then when live is getting really rough for her, I will hear xiaoyi say “I am NOT going to let THEM WIN!” She mutters it as a curse and pushed through to get things done and keep going when she is struggling. Finally, I asked her who “they” were. It turns out that like most of us, xiaoyi has been told by many people in her life that she can’t or won’t be able to make it. Even some doctors have told her she would not be able to do things because of her fibro. She uses these messages to get pissed when she needs to push through and still do things, make that last call, get one more thing done or even just to post one more writing. Her Why Power is based out of anger to be more than those people have told her she can be and it works.
anger and the urge to fight can also be great sources of Why Power. These can become powerful motivators and drive us past our normal limitations to a new height we didn’t know that we could reach. Our Why Power is a tool for us, a powerbase to work from to achieve our goals. Think of it as a nuclear power plant. The benefits of having one are massive and we see that a beneficial, but they can also be destructive and we see that as bad. The reality of it is that it is a tool that we can use and control to drive our change.
While we explore the “darker” side of our Why Power, there is something to keep in mind. The motivation behind our actions does not need to dictate those actions. We can maintain our values while having a Why that is seen as negative. Take me for example, my Why is rather simple and straightforward, and it could also be considered petty or negative. My why is my desire to not “work”, to live a life where I can wake up when I want to and spend the day doing what I want without living off of others or compromising the lifestyle I want. This can easily be seen as a lazy and negative Why, but I have been able to use it to drive myself into a situation where I am constantly writing (something I love), I am constantly learning and sharing that knowledge with other. I am walking a path that brings me closer to my wife and is more authentic than I have lived before. These are all positive outcomes even though the Why is seen as negative. Remember that as you embrace a seemingly negative Why Power and realize that the Why Power is the tool, it is your actions on achieving your goal that can create a negative or positive outcome in your life. Use your tools and make them work for you.
Life’s too short to have bad days. What are you doing to make today FANTASTIC?