Archive | March 2016

Dealing with Pain

https://janaburson.wordpress.com

https://janaburson.wordpress.com

Dealing with Pain:

Sometimes we will feel pain.  The only place where people live that they never experience pain is in graveyards.  We know that we will experience pain in our lives and we cannot avoid it. When we feel pain there are several routes we could take; the simplest and worst of the options is to give into that pain and let it dictate your actions and reactions. By allowing the pain to control us, we stop directing our own journeys and end up taking a path that may lead nowhere. It certainly doesn’t lead to self- improvement and growth.    There is a better option, an option that allows us to feel the pain and use it; kind of like we do in physical therapy as we are healing from injuries.   

First,  we need  is to understand where the pain is coming from. This isn’t simply identifying the source of the pain, but seeing further into where it comes from. On our journey in network marketing, a common pain that we will run into is the derision of those around us, especially from those that we love. They see the path that we have chosen and try to tear us down, put us back into the flock of humans that never strive to be better than what they have day to day. The thing that we need to do is really understand where the reactions that we get from others comes from and why they are inflicting that pain on us as we try to move into our ideal future.  So we feel pain from their judgments but why are they judging us?  

The answer is shockingly simple: they are afraid! Anything that disrupts the “normal” flow of life is something to be feared. Fear is the tool that kept us safe in caveman days and allowed us to evolve to where we are as a species today. Things outside of the normal don’t carry that same weight as they did in cave days,  they don’t have a strong likelihood of ending our lives or causing major physical damage anymore, but the fear can still be there. This is actually a very nice thing for them to do as they see it because they are trying to protect us in their own eyes.  Different and new things are scary.  In early days, anything new or different could very well be trying to eat us so we learned to fear different things.  That is why people lash out when they see us living our lives differently, they want to get things back to the normal( or what they know is safe) and ripping us off our path is the easiest way for that to happen. When we understand where their attacks come from, we can step back and understand that it isn’t actually a personal attack, we are not bad or evil in anyway, they are just thoughtlessly reacting to their own fears.

There will be pain in our lives, yet we decide how it affects us. There are a few real choices in what we can do when we feel pain. We can FREEZE!!!  We can let pain paralyze us, cause us to stop in our tracks and live in that pain.  While freezing might seem to be a good idea, it only helps short-term if at all.  freezing degrade our ability to keep moving on our path, sinking us in a quagmire that is next to impossible to free ourselves from. This is also the most common reaction to emotional pain, to do nothing about it. To just figureatively stick our heads int eh sand and hope for things to get better. Until recently this was my default for dealing with emotionally unpleasent things. I would ignore them and hope the pain would go away.  It never did. I had to actually face the pain and deal with the reason it was happening before I could stop hurting.  By freezing and ignoring the pain, we are doing the emotional equivilent of hoping a broken arm will heal itsself properly if we ignore the fact the bone is sticking out of the arm.  

Alternatively, we can give into the pain and look to mitigate it. This would be stepping away from our path in life, the path that we want for our futures and fall back into the herd that caused the pain to begin with. Trying to conform to what others want us to be so that their fear doesn’t cause them to lash out and cause us pain. Again, this does nothing to move us away from our dreams and  in fact it is the primary reason that dreams die. Why struggle to achieve our dreams when we know there will be pain? It is easier to accept the slow, chronic pain of an unfulfilled life rather than the pain of ridicule from the herd.  This would be like taking an aspirin for the broken  bone and learning to just live with the arm broken.  

The BEST choice is using pain as motivation.  FEEL the BURN!!!! We can use our pain to drive us along our path towards our dreams. We can take that pain and toss it on the fire of our passions and the let it fuel the blazing light of our dreams. This is the option that we need to embrace and make work for us. This is the option that we choose when we exercise our physical bodies, using the pain to push through the boundaries that we thought were in front of us. There is no difference when it comes to emotional pain, we have to use it to shatter the obstacles that try to define us.  This is finding the tools/doctor to set the bone properly, letting it heal and building strength slowly and steadily through physical therapy and growing stronger than we were before the break.  

Learning how to use pain to drive our internal engines and forces us to grow beyond where we are currently is a process. For me, I discovered it comes in the form of writing.  This is the fuel gets me to put fingers to keyboard and to forcefully grasp my dreams and my future and drive them forward. How do you use the pain you feel to better your life? I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

-Dominic

Insurmountable odds?

http://quotesgram.com/

http://quotesgram.com/

 

Many of us sit around looking at our dreams and what we want to do with our life and think that we don’t really have the ability to achieve it, that our dreams are outside our own reach because of who we are, we where we have been in our lives. We believe that the circumstances that we are in or that we have lived through made our dreams nothing more than mirages, tempting but never real.  And we are WRONG!!!That set of thinking is a whole bunch of self-delusion. Everyone has their own unique brand of trials and tribulations that they have lived through and are living in that makes the world seem like an impossible place, but some people use that as an excuse while others as a driving force to change their lives.

I have a friend who lost one of his legs below the knee. Now he could have easily decided that going into security work, which was his dream, was never going to happen now.  How could he be a bodyguard with only one leg.  Very well  as it turned out. He used his lost leg as a reason to push harder and train until he was better than many of the candidates with two legs and he moved into doing the job he loves despite it.  And our world is full of people with this sort of story.  

The idea here is that we have a choice to make about our world and how we are going to interact with it. The world is nothing more than a reflection of your outlooks and beliefs. If we believe that we cannot overcome where we are or where we came from, then we are correct and will never be able to do so. In contrast, if we believe that we can succeed despite our past and our circumstances that is exactly what we will do. The reason for this is that our outlook defines our effort in the meaningful things in our lives.  Let me say that again.  Our beliefs shape our efforts!

Our beliefs will define the effort that we actually put into something to change ourselves. If we think that nothing is going to change, we will sit and put very little effort and belief into a venture that is meant to change our lives and the simple fact is that our belief will hamper our ability to work on that venture, to stick with it and to ultimately make it a real change. On the other hand, if we believe that something will change our lives, we will have the energy and effort to push that change and make it a reality instead of standing in our own way.  Have you heard, believe you can or believe you can’t either way you are right.

Our belief will also define how we see everything. When we carry a belief that nothing will change, no matter the reality that we live or that the world imposes on us, we will see no change. We could triple our income over a year, yet all we will see are the bills and expenses and we will still feel that nothing has changed. We can lose 20 pounds, but still see a fat image in the mirror because we believe that nothing will change. If believe nothing will change we will seek out the negative aspects that support our belief and ignore the changes that have occurred. As humans, we want to be right and we seek out ways to be right at the subconscious level.  

Believing that we can change things allows us to reverse that process and see and accept the changes that have occurred. Ever thought of buying a red car and then suddenly seeing hundreds of red cars everywhere?  Did everyone else go and buy a red car too?  No, of course not, it is because you are now looking for red cars because your focus is on red cars that you are now noticing them more.   Both of these outlooks reinforce our belief that we can or cannot succeed and makes those beliefs that much stronger.

Changing our belief can take time and practice to do well. If we do it though we greatly increase our chances at a happy and healthy life rather than being angry and disgruntled at everything. Most of us will not have an experience in our lives that jars us out of ingrained beliefs, so it is up to us to take an active role in changing those.

One of the actions we have taken is that we don’t have problems anymore.  We now face challenges that we can overcome.  By simply changing how we looked at such things we have made them easier to deal with.  An example:  Our car needs new brakes.  Even a year ago this would have been a HUGE problem for us because, “Where are we going to find $1000 to fix brakes? Money doesn’t grow on trees!”  Now because we have changed how we look at such things our approach changed as well.  This time our response was “OK so we need $1000 for breaks.  I think we can adjust this budget here some and if we sell a couple more of these, we can have that together in a couple of weeks.”  It was much less stressful this way.  Either way we were going to find the money for new brakes.  It is simply too important to skip.  The old way left us very stressed and miserable.  Our new way left us feeling confident and like we had succeeded in something big because we had overcome a challenge.  

What actions are you going to take to change your beliefs and begin to relish your life?

~Dominic

Digging In

http://arf.berkeley.edu/

http://arf.berkeley.edu/

 

Digging In:

Productivity can be a very hard thing to measure many times. How do you define if you are being productive or not? Is it by the number of things that you get done or the size of the thing you got done? What counts as a normal maintenance task and what counts as moving you along in your journey? These are questions that we all must answer for ourselves, but there are some tricks on how to help increase productivity once you have decided what that is. Here are two life-hacks for increasing your productivity.

The first hack is to schedule and focus your time. Instead of diving into the heap of things that need to get done without a plan, you want to organize that heap and then create a plan on how to tackle it. Chances are there are a lot of things in that heap that are similar to other things or similar enough in nature that they do not take a shift in your mental processes to get done. If you dive in without a plan, you would run across the similar things as they came and would be shifting your mentality constantly to get things done. That shift is very detrimental and adds time and effort to the job that can be avoided. It can take over three minutes to refocus your mind on a new task. Instead, take that time to gather the tasks of a similar nature together and then do them together.  This will make them all far easier to get done and will not require multiple changes of our mental state. When we do group similar tasks, the tasks get done faster and more efficiently, and honestly with a better quality of work since you are not shifting gears all the time.

The second hack is to focus on each task type for a schedule amount of time. Put your phone on silent and out of view, lock the door, and isolate yourself during that time. Remove distraction and interruption while you are working. Very few things in life can’t wait an hour before they have our attention, if they even need it then. We are bombarded regularly with always being in contact, always being available to others, facebook, email, twitter accounts and the like. This constant stress detracts from our ability to get things done and be effective in our work. So remove the distractions and really focus on what you are doing. You have already scheduled the time, let the people that might want your attention know the schedule and then focus while in that time frame. You will see your productivity go through the roof as you buckle down and get it done.

How we measure our productivity are going to be different for everyone, but the skills to increase that productivity are simple to practice. Go ahead and try it now, sort the activities for the day and create a schedule to get them done.  Then focus in on the tasks while holding yourself to that schedule. If you follow these simple hacks you are going to see your productivity skyrocket!

~Dominic

Life’s too Short to Have Bad Days!  What are YOU doing to make today Fantastic?

I am digging in and getting things done.

4 Great Life Hacks for Success

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www.linkedin.com

4 Keys to Achieve Goals:  

            Success isn’t about getting other people to do what you want. Success comes from the mindset that we take into our day to day lives as we move forward in our world. This isn’t just something we can turn on, but is rather a set of skills that we have to develop and practice to get proficient at and master. Here I will share, with you, four keys that will make the process of learning and honing those skills easier.

            Key #1: Goal Setting – This one is simple to understand, but it is the linchpin to everything else. We must have goals that we are striving for, be they goals that of production or just of progress along our path. The key here is not that we need to have goals, it is that we need to make those goals strong and clear. The goal can’t be something that doesn’t progress us along our path, that doesn’t stand up to the trials that we are going to face. It has to be something that withstands the hardships and persists through the lows. Additionally, it has to be a clear goal, something we can actually understand how to progress towards. A goal that isn’t clear in our own minds won’t help us progress to where we want to be. In fact, an unclear goal might even run us in circles as we keep moving, rather than helping us make progress. Keep your goals clear and measurable.

            Key #2: Drive – The drive to achieve our goals is next skill. This is the “Why”, the reason that the goal is there in the first place and it needs to be bulletproof. It is our motivational force that will drive us always closer and closer to the goal.  It has to something so deep in us that we can’t let it go, that we can’t let the outside world tarnish or damage it. If our progress is the measure of how we are doing on moving towards our goal, the Why is the reason we stepped foot on the path in first place, the reason that we keep putting one aching foot in front of the other no matter what!

            Key #3: Emotional Understanding– This is the ability to read yourself and your emotions and see how they are impacting you and your goals. It is the skill that allows us to understand what is going on inside so that we can develop the other skills that we will need to achieve our goals. It is crucial to understand where we are so that we can understand the filters that we are seeing our plans and goals through. It is also vital if to understand how our emotions impact those around us and their reactions to us.  What emotions do you have that help you reach your goals?  Which ones do you find get in the way?  When you are feeling joyful, how do you share that joy with others and how do they respond?

            Key #4: Social Skills– For all of us, even those of us who hang out behind a computer (like me), social skills are vital to our success. They include the ability to communicate effectively with those we work with and those that we discuss business opportunities with. We need to be able to adapt our responses to the styles that other people around us use so that we can communicate with them in a way that they can understand.  A way that they can embrace and move forward with. This can be the ability to train someone who doesn’t think like we do, or to reach out to a someone that doesn’t approach the world the way we do, or simply knowing if we should use geek speak to explain something or break it down into simpler terms then technobabble.  If we are not adaptable and skilled in this, we can only really deal with people with the same sort of filters and experiences with the world that we have, which cuts out a vast majority of the population that we could be reaching.

            These are 4 simple keys that we can develop to reach any goal in our life, 4 things to learn and practice as we move forward in our lives. So how are these ideas going to progress your life and goals?

~Dominic

Life’s too Short to Have Bad Days! What are YOU doing to Make Today Fantastic?

 

I am going to share this free video with 5 simple steps to earn 6 figure incomes with you for free today!!!  Here’s the link!  

 

A Grimm Day in the City – part 1

http://wallpapercave.com

http://wallpapercave.com

A Grimm Day in the City

By Ming Drake

 

The dingy light emanating from the streetlamp did little to break through the ash falling from the darkened sky and illuminate the dirty streets. His knee high black leather boots made firm imprints in the drifts that the ash created. He remembers a time when the lamps did not have to be lit during the day, much less at high noon as they were today. The clouds that belched forth from the countless coal burning steam powered plants and the smaller, personal steam powered mansions in the rich area of the city, an area that he was moving slowly towards, blotted out the sun. The weak light spilling from the lamps in the poorer section of the city slowly brightened as he made his way uptown.

With a start, he noticed that his boots had become wet and dripping, cold seeping in to reach his flesh. Gingerly peeking out from his wide brimmed hat and holding the breathing unit he wore firmly to his face, he studied the blackened sky. Holding out his other hand he caught one of the flakes drifting out from the gloomy sky. He watched with firmly concealed wonder as the flake melted into a tiny pool of water in the leather of his glove, its collection of rivets and bronze plates glinting dully with the reflected light from the lamps.  

By the creator! It’s snow, not ash. I haven’t seen snow since I was a young boy in the slums. I remember the cold that seeped into your bones as the drifts of off white stuff built up in the streets, the shabby rags I wore much too thin to keep any warmth in. That was before the perpetual clouds of coal smoke covered the city. Snow hasn’t fallen since then that I know of. This storm must be an amazingly intense one to have punched through the burning sky.” Shaking his head at his own thoughts, he wiped the dark, gritty water, polluted by the smog the flake had drifted down through, on his black, stylish pants that were tucked into his tall, knee high, boots before resuming his journey uptown through the drifts of snow, ebony as the ash that gorged the sky.

 

Creating More Hours in the Day!!! Tell me how!

As we approach spring break and get ready for the insanity of March, there is nothing more important than having time to spend with those we love. As such, today I will share a way to actually create time in our lives so that we can have more of it for our breaks.

The method for creating time is three-fold when it comes to my work and the first one is something that anyone can do in their lives. The second two are great to keep in mind for my future as well and I wanted to share all of them with you. So how am I going to create time?

The first and most important step for me is simple. Sacrifice time now so that you have more free time in the future. For me, this means that you want to find those things in your life and your business today that you can invest a block of time in today so that you do not have to worry about them in the future. On the most simplistic form, this can be a 1:1 exchange so that you can enjoy time in the future without worry. For me, this means front-loading my work. Finding all the things I need to get done between today and say, April 1st. I utilize the success compression techniques to get that all done in the next week so that I can live through vacations without those things preying on my mind. That doesn’t create time though, so how is that useful?

The key to this step is to find those things in my life where I can spend a block of time now so that I can repeatedly save that time later.  Let’s take checking emails.  I can either check every email as the come in throughout the day as my phone notifies me of them or I can set times when I go through all of them.  This means that instead of taking the time to log in, read the email, sort it and/or respond to it for every email, I only do it twice a day.  This means saving the time for each login and log out because I only do that twice a day instead of 30+ times a day.  The emails still get responded to but I gain several minutes every day in doing this so that I can spend that time of important things like friends and family. 

The second way to create time is something that works for anyone with a business up and in operation and it starts with realizing what our time is worth. To do this we need to focus on our goals.

How much do we want to be making from our business on a yearly basis? For anyone that wants success, $250,000.00 a year seems like a good start. I then take that number and divide it by the number of hours I work a year, 9000 for a normal 40 hours a week. This will leave me needing to make $125 an hour to meet my goal! This brings s me to step 2 in creating time, which is to delegate.  Now that I have an idea of what my time should be worth, I can find those activities that I do on regularly that does not make us this income. Then, simply hire a professional to get all that done for a fraction of our hourly wage, say $20 an hour, so that we can focus on the things that do earn us that $125 an hour that we need. Heck even if you don’t have a business, maybe the kid down the street will mow your yard or take out your trash for a few bucks.  If it isn’t bringing you directly closer to your goals, delegate it.  

There is extra benefit to this for me. I am not an expert at filing or anything along those lines, so it takes me a large amount of time to get those types of things done. Don’t believe me ask the wife.  She is a filing wiz and can have an entire stack of documents filed in the time it takes me to remember how the filing system works! Someone who is experienced and a pro at it can get it done in a fraction of the time, as demonstrated by my wife. If I have four hours of filing to do and I do it myself,  filing is costing me $500 dollars to do. Instead, I hire a professional at $20 an hour to get it done and due to their expertise; they get it done in an hour. I have just saved myself $480 and 4 hours of time.Talk about a quick and easy way to create time for myself.

Finally, to create time we have to create structures. Repeating activities over and over again without well laid out structures uses far more time than if we invest some time to create a structure for those items. Once we create a structure, or workflow if you would prefer, we can get those repeated activities done far faster since we are not starting from scratch each time. That time we just created with the structure is time that we can be using elsewhere to live our life. Now we have to go back into the second step of delegation. That structure we have created for those repeated activities allows us to have a framework that we can hire someone else to complete for us, creating even more time!

For me, these strategies allow me to get far more done in less time  than I would otherwise be able to and that translates directly into my goals of spending more time on the pursuits and people that I love. Combine this with the Success Compression and I have a recipe to not only create more time for my passions, but to do so in a far more productive manner than I would otherwise.

So where can you manufacture time in your life so that you can live your passions instead of just dream about them?

~Dominic

Life’s too Short to Have Bad Days!  What are you doing to make today fantastic?