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If you are around my age or older, and especially if you are male, you have been taught for the majority of your life that emotions are something to be kept as private as absolutely possible. Taught that displays of emotions are outright bad and should not be indulged in any situation. Instead, we are taught that we should replace them with logic and reason and hold to those ideals and leave emotions behind. This attitude is actually stymieing to our efforts to sell anything.

As I have said many times before, humans are herd animals. We long for the companionship of others and for connection to those around us. We need a group of people that we love and that love us to functions on any level. These connections are not rational or logical; they don’t follow paths that make sense to our analytically trained brains. Instead, these connections are made through the sharing of emotions and the closeness that comes out of that sharing. The people that are closest to us in our lives and that we cling to the hardest are those that we have shared our emotions with the most, our parents, our siblings, our lovers. They are that close because of that emotional sharing and they would do anything for us and us for them because of it. This is something we need to remember when speaking with our customers.

When we do sit down with someone new and begin the selling process, we need to balance the dual halves of our personalities. The facts and figures are going to be an important factor in the sale, but conveying our emotions and being aware of our customer’s emotions are going to be the reason for the sale going through or failing. On our side of the table, we need to learn how to effectively convey our feelings to the customer. Not just the feelings of joy and excitement that feel about our product, but the real emotions of pleasure and joy of trying to help someone else. If we are sitting there impassive and emotionless while recounting the facts and figures we miss out on a couple important aspects of the conversation. We miss the opportunity to instill our excitement in the other person, so get them excited and riled up for the product. Additionally, we do not create any sort of closeness to the other person. It is that closeness and trust that you create with them by sharing your emotions that will let them feel comfortable in actually buying the product.

The second step in our emotions is that we need to learn to be cognizant and receptive to the customer’s emotions. It does nobody any good if we try to connect with someone if we are not listening to them first. We know this on a cognitive level, that we need to listen to the answers that they give and help to alleviate their concerns, this is just as important on an emotional level. We need to be able to listen and address the emotions that they are struggling with as well. Are they afraid of taking the step forward and getting the product? That might not come through in their words, but if it isn’t addressed then they will never buy. You have to aware of their emotions or you can never help alleviate the negative ones or bolster the positive ones.

The only way to learn how to read and understand other people’s emotions is to get in touch with our own, to throw off the training from our childhood and come out of the emotional closet! It is time we became a whole person rather than the shadow that we have lived as utilizing only one side of ourselves.